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クソリプの教科書


どうも、クソリプ選手権王者のビビ丸です。
数日前にクソリプ選手権に勝利し、王者になりました。


この記事を読んでほしい人

  • クソリプを学びたい
  • クソリプのテンプレを探してる
  • クソリプ選手権で王者になりたい
  • クソリプを送りたいけど誰に送ったら良いか分からない

タイプ別クソリプ解説とテンプレの紹介


ここではクソリプのタイプを実践するときの難易度を添えて紹介する。そして、クソリプ初心者のために、テンプレを紹介する。

不謹慎系クソリプ(★☆☆☆☆)


俺が思う一番簡単に誰でも送れるクソリプがこれ。震災後等によく見かけるやつ。難易度は1。基本の形故に汎用性が高い。


ポイントは、最初に簡潔に○○は不謹慎だ!と言い切る。そして、○○の人もいる、○○の気持ちも考えて等を言う。○○の人の代弁をしているかのように振る舞い、正義を振りかざす。ネタとして使うのはありだが、本物の不謹慎中は個人的に嫌い。

不謹慎系クソリプのテンプレ

○○なんて不謹慎ですよ。
○○の気持ちも考えてください or ○○な人だっているんですよ。
どうして○○なことが言える(できる)んですか?


3段目をなしにして簡潔にするのも◎。

不謹慎系の派生テンプレ(玉ちゃんの作品)


玉ちゃんの作品。人権侵害、法務省の人権侵害課に通報しました。という強めのワードが◎。また、FF外から失礼しますを付けることによって初対面でクソリプを送ってる感の演出も良い。

無駄にスクロールしないと読めない系クソリプ(★☆☆☆☆)


音無のクソリプ選手権ではこさんが使った手法。とてもシンプルで使い勝手が良い。難易度は1。


ポイントは、『↓』を縦に沢山配置してツイートを縦長にする。スクロールしないと一番下にたどりつけないぐらいが良い。最重要ポイントは一番下を少ない文字数で表現すること。絵文字1文字とかは◎。

無駄にスクロールしないと読めない系クソリプのテンプレ(はこさんの作品)

https://twitter.com/plus_fashion12/status/1114842480388612096

自分の世界狭い系クソリプ(★★☆☆☆)


「○○なんてありえない」、「できるわけない」等自分の実力が低いor知識量が少ない系のクソリプ。相手が自分より凄いことができる場合に送ることができる。難易度は2。これも基本の形。汎用性は高い。ポイントは、自分の知識量、実力の無さを棚に上げ全力で相手を否定する。この時、恥ずかしがってはいけない。恥ずかしがった時点で、自分の中の○○なんてありえないを否定したことになってしまう。

自分の世界狭い系クソリプのテンプレ

嘘松


この一言で済ませるのが最近の流行りらしい。知らんけど。
長々と文章を書くのは難しいが、一言で済ませるorコラ画像を使うことが多い。

自分語り系クソリプ(★★☆☆☆)


隙があればどこからでも自分のことを語る。相手に興味を持たれないようにするとgood。難易度は2。基本の形の1つ。汎用性はとても高い。殆どの場合単体で使うことはない。他の基本形と組み合わせることで力を発揮する。特に自分の世界狭い系クソリプと相性が良い。「○○なんてありえない」から「俺だって○○してるのに○○だ」等誰でも簡単に行えるコンボが強力。

自分語り系クソリプのテンプレ1

○○なんて不謹慎ですよ。
俺だって○○されてうんざりしてるんです。
先日から、ずっと○○で、○○なんです。

自分語り系クソリプのテンプレ2

○○なんて、ありえないと思います。
実際、自分が○○した時も○○でした。

決めつけ系クソリプ(★★★☆☆)


○○をしたに違いないと決めつけて攻撃してくるタイプ。決めつけるためにベースとなる知識が必要。素の知識量が必要なため、難易度は3。ポイントは、迷わず自分を信じぬくこと。相手は○○したんだ。そうに違いない。って気持ちが大事。

決めつけ系クソリプ

○○したんだろor○○したに違いないor○○はズルい


はっきり言ってテンプレは無意味。ベースの知識をもとに決めつけろ。

カタカナ言葉を詰め込んだ意識高い系クソリプ(★★★★☆)


音無のクソリプ選手権で、優勝したぽじねこさんが魅せたクソリプ。本人も意味わかってるのか分からないレベルでカタカナ言葉を詰め込む。そもそもカタカナ言葉を知らないと使えないので難易度は4。使い勝手はそこそこ良さそう。

カタカナ言葉を詰め込んだ意識高い系クソリプのテンプレ(ぽじねこさんの作品)


あまりに意味わからなすぎるので翻訳してみた。


FF内から失礼します。
「クソリプ」という言葉が、事実上の標準と化している昨今、このように素早いアウトプットをしていくことが、個々の進歩に繋がると思いますし、簡単な話し合いで界隈へのフィードバックにもつながりますから、私も企画への参加は賛成です。


適当にググって翻訳してみたけど、結局意味わからん。やっぱクソリプだわ。

お祝い系クソリプ(★★★★★)


フォロワー〇人突破や、adsence合格などのツイートに対して行う。相手を見極めないと嫌われる可能性が高く、リスクが高い。ググってもこんなジャンルのクソリプのテンプレはなかった。難易度は5。はっきり言って俺も使いこなせない。
ポイントは、さり気なく相手の凄いところを書く。恐らく、自分の世界狭い系、自分語り系を組み合わせて、自分の知識、実力では難しいと伝えれば良い。

お祝い系クソリプのテンプレ


一応俺の送ったやつをテンプレってことにしておく。もっと良い例があればビビ丸までDMかリプお願い。

クソリプを送っても良い相手紹介

音無@クソリプ研究家


せっかくクソリプを勉強したんだから送りたい。そんな人のためのtwitter研究家(クソリプ研究家)の音無さん。24時間365日クソリプ大歓迎だって。


音無のtwitterで人生を豊かにするブログ

ビビ丸@働かない努力


クソリプを送ったらクソリプが返ってくる。こだまでしょうか?いいえ、ビビ丸です。

ぽじねこ@VBlogger


第2回のクソリプ選手権優勝者ぽじねこさん。クソリプ評論家の傍らブログも書いてる。
ぽじねこさんの『ポジティブログ!』も覗いてみてね。

https://twitter.com/posi_log/status/1110200852784922624

玉ちゃん@残金210万円 俺はミニマリストになる!


ビビ丸賞を受賞したクソリパーの1人。クソリプを送って良いのは、クソリプを送られる覚悟がある奴だけだ。という謎理論によりここで紹介された被害者。あと、悪意のある代表ツイートの選出本当に申し訳ないと思っています。

はこ@プラスファッション


ビビ丸賞を受賞したクソリパーの1人。クソリプを送るってことはクソリプ送られて良いってことですよね?(クソコメント。多分クソリプ好きだから、クソリプ送られて良い人リスト入れときますね。


ファッション関係のブログ『プラスファッション』を運営してる。ビビ丸はファッションに疎いので全く分からないけど、おしゃれな人は覗きに行ってみて。

クソリプは用法・容量を守って楽しもう


クソリプはやっぱクソ。送りすぎはダメ。楽しめる範囲で節度ある行動を心がけよう。これが一番大事。

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